In the social media era, it’s common to read articles discussing the blurring boundaries in the doctors/patient relationship. Usually it’s some version of, “Should a doctor accept friend requests from patients on Facebook?” or “Is it ok for doctors to Google their patients?”
The Wall Street Journal (The New Boundaries Between Doctors and Patients) explores these issues and goes on to explore what happens when patients and doctors become friendly during the course of treatment. In the midst of this there’s a throwaway paragraph:
“Some boundaries are clear. Professional medical organizations have strict rules against sex and romance with patients. Doctors are also advised not to treat family or close friends, situations that could compromise objectivity and judgment.”
I have no problem with the part about sex and romance. I also kind of understand the family issue. But the friend one is more interesting to me.
I read a few pieces that discuss this topic. (Here and here.) The typical scenario is a friend asking for medical advice in a casual setting, often on a topic that’s not related to the doctor’s specialty. I get why that’s a bad idea.
In my own case I know many practicing physicians socially, and most are in the prime of their careers: mid 40s to early 50s. A couple years ago when I was having trouble finding a new primary care doctor after mine retired, I asked physician friends who they went to. That was a little too clever on my part, since I forgot to account for the fact that physicians get treated differently than regular people when they go to the doctor’s office. No NPs for them!
But after some so-so experiences with a particular medical specialty, I decided to ask a specialist friend if he would be comfortable being my doctor. He said yes and I started seeing him. He’s a longtime friend but not an extremely close friend. I’ve been extremely satisfied with the experience. Partly because he’s an excellent doctor but also because I feel he understands me better and may even provide a little extra attention. He trusts me enough to exchange detailed emails. I’m not embarrassed to share personal medical details that I wouldn’t be comfortable with sharing someone who’s just a friend. Honestly, for me I don’t see the downside.
I did the same thing when I a needed a new dentist and that’s worked out well, too.
I hope I stay reasonably healthy and then die peacefully in my sleep when I turn 100, so I don’t have to spend a lot of time as a patient. But realistically it’s likely that I’ll be seeing more specialists as time moves along. I’m definitely planning to keep friends in mind when it comes time to find people to treat me.
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